I need a vacation. I think a vacation has been past due. I'm killing myself right now. i have no idea how I'm doing this. It's absolute torture. I need to leave the country and relax for at least a week. Still want to go to guayana but--unfortunately--that's not realistic at this point ($$$$). I have no idea why I'm always breaking my back trying to take care of responsibilities (getting my life together) without any opportnity to play. This really sucks. These last 2-3 years have been the absolute worst for me. I'm long overdue for a break from this stress. This feels horrible. I wish I could elaborate but I wont.