Not sure why I'm not entirely over this. I guess it comes down to me not loving easily, yet loving intensely. I don't think it's fair that this day depresses me to such a high degree. It all seems surreal. I would love to wake up but I know that I can't. ugh..I hate my current status and I know it wont improve for a LONG while. As soon as I think that I'm a step above everything, I'm suddenly dragged down (by emotions) once again.Wish these feelings would disappear already. And I still have my box of wedding memories. I have everything. I am so afraid to open the box but I would never throw it away. Not in a million years. It's such a huge part of me now. There's no such thing as forgetting. Forgetting is for cowards.
The only thing stopping me from becoming a full-fledged alcoholic is my low tolerance level. In any case, my liver will undergo a significant amount of damage over the holiday season.
Cheerio.
