I've been in Denver for close to a year now. I think I've made some serious progress. I don't cry when making the bed, putting away laundry, washing dishes, cooking, grocery shopping , & checking the mail anymore. Come to think of it... i just don't cry. Getting used to this divorced thing.
Now, I am as lonely as I was a year ago... or should I say two-three years ago... (..most of my life!). I honestly don't see this changing any time soon. I just hope that I can have a better New Year. I think NYE & my birthday were the most depressing, "kill yourself" days of my year.
I'm not sure why it's always been so difficult for me to find friends. Often times, I ask myself this question. I realize that I am a picky when choosing people I associate with.... I have standards! For instance, I'm not into 'mean girl' type of gossip, I'm not into 90210-type drama, not into dating, i do not consider 'sex' to be a sport, although shopping can be fun... I can do without it, & I am not jealous (i could care less if the girl next to me is prettier than I). I also refuse to associate with people who do not share the same core values/morals as me (although I've broken this rule by befriending a no-good-somebody who's name I wont speak of). I refuse to associate with religious freaks since they tend to judge me and recite bible quotes when I ask them not to. I also will not hang out with anyone who doesn't drink b/c drinking is one of my favorite past-times. And If I find out that you're an unreliable person (I've been stood up so many times this year that next time it happens... I'm afraid I'll 'black out' on someone), you're out of the picture.
I don't think I'm unusually picky. However, when it comes to making friends...
I'm not doing something right. I honestrly can't seem to figure out my problem. Maybe people my age don't like how I'm always smiling and giggling? Who knows.
