Guillaume de Machaut- Puis qu'en oubli (polyphonic chanson)

she hates photos

 pardon the lack of "facecake"... i had to take family portraits w/o the cat..  as you can see...  she takes after her mother... study time

Twinkie & I scrub-a-dub...

We took our shower...  now our hair is all poodled-out. i always knew that pet owners tended to look like their dogs. outrageous.

Why me?

I've been in Denver for close to a year now. I think I've made some serious progress. I don't cry when making the bed, putting away laundry, washing dishes, cooking, grocery shopping , & checking the mail anymore. Come to think of it...  i just don't cry.  Getting used to this divorced thing.

Now, I am as lonely as I was a year ago... or should I say two-three years ago...  (..most of my life!). I honestly don't see this changing any time soon. I just hope that I can have a better New Year. I think NYE & my birthday were the most depressing, "kill yourself" days of my year.

I'm not sure why it's always been so difficult for me to find friends. Often times, I ask myself this question. I realize that I am a picky when choosing people I associate with....  I have standards! For instance, I'm not into 'mean girl' type of gossip, I'm not into 90210-type drama, not into dating, i do not consider 'sex' to be a sport, although shopping can be fun... I can do without it, & I am not jealous (i could care less if the girl next to me is prettier than I). I also refuse to associate with people who do not share the same core values/morals as me (although I've broken this rule by befriending a no-good-somebody who's name I wont speak of). I refuse to associate with religious freaks since they tend to judge me and recite bible quotes when I ask them not to. I also will not hang out with anyone who doesn't drink b/c drinking is one of my favorite past-times.  And If I find out that you're an unreliable person (I've been stood up so many times this year that next time it happens... I'm afraid I'll 'black out' on someone), you're out of the picture.

I don't think I'm unusually picky. However, when it comes to making friends...

I'm not doing something right. I honestrly can't seem to figure out my problem. Maybe people my age don't like how I'm always smiling and giggling? Who knows.

Giggles

So this is my third consecutive day of shooting at the range. This gun thing is pretty fun. I hope I remember to clean my weapon before I go to bed.  I found a cool spot that's a few minutes away from me. The first day I visited the gunshop, the staff members all told me that I was the happiest person they've ever seen. It was nice going in there today... the old men reminded me just how 'unconsciously smiley' I am. lol   I have the same effect (on people) all the time... doesn't matter what type of situation i'm in.
I swear, at the end of every school semester I'd have several professors/students tell me how grateful they are to have me in their class because of the happy factor. Usually they're in their 40-50s (men/women) so I feel extra special since they're not a bunch of punk guys my age trying to get my number. Same thing would always happen at the hospital (active duty years). Random people would stop me in the halls and thank me for smiling all the time & laughing with them. It's funny because during my most depressed state (Las Vegas)... I--somehow--didn't let my depression affect my daily smile-output. Man! I even smiled & laughed in basic training. I'd laugh in the TI's face and HAPPILY perform pushups for them afterwards. lol I'm not sure what is wrong with me. Personally... smiling, laughing, & being a goof is all innate. I can't seem to help it. Although it kind of annoys the hell out of me when I'm making an attempt to come off as a serious person...  I don't let it bother me too much. Especially if I'm brightening up someone else's day..  by simply acting normally.

Hobby..plans..

Those who actually know me, know that It's extremely difficult for me to commit to any one thing. I get bored easly. Unless someone is literally down my back, demanding that I participate in something on a regular basis (for example, my crossfitting days while i was stationed in Germany... which was actually super fun!), don't expect me to commit to anything. It's just  not in my nature. I am genetically unable to become hooked to anything for long-term periods. With that said, I took my CCW/NRA basic pistrol training class today. I somehow got the class "on the cheap"--$80 for a 9hr+ class, plus $15 to shoot (most classes start at $150). I realized that learning how to properly handle a weapon will take more effort than just visiting the range 'every-so-often'. This was my first time shooting at a range (i refuse to count my 2days of shooting rifles in the military) so I was not horrible, but not good. I was nervous as heck, which is probably one reason why I kept anticipating every shot (not a good thing when trying to shoot a paper plate from the distance). Anyhow, I realized that this could actually become a neat investment. I registered from Irish dance class but then canceled at the last minute b/c I became interested in Krav Maga. Although, I'm definately still going to register for Krav... i think that I should apply most of my energy/money to shooting at the range for now. Krav is such a huge investment (well worth the money... but money that I really don't have at the moment). I made myself believe that I could take on the responsibility of owning a weapon and pursue an additional hobby at the same time. I guess that I didn't realize how handgun shooting could be a hobby within itself...   which is WAY cheaper than paying for Krav training. I will save Krav and Irish dance lessons for future endeavors. For now, I'm going to pay huge attention to becoming comfortable with my weapon.

Why do midgets have such huge asses? I feel bad for them. It really looks as though it hurts to walk. I mean, think about the extreme low back curvature from carrying all that donk. I don't think that wiping a midget's ass after a hearty poop would be a simple task when considering how tiny their hands are. I feel really bad now.

My next best friend...

Ignorance is bliss.

"It offends me that an invisible god is given credit for every good thing that happens in the world, while every evil is blamed on humanity. There is much evil in the world that is not the fault of human beings, such as ignorance and disease and droughts, and most of the things that are good are entirely the product of human love, effort or genius, such as friendship, science and technology" - Richard D.

I need to..

lay off the banjo playing. It's beginning to hurt.

Wally

I visited Walmart today. I usually try to avoid that place at all costs because of how skanky that place is. Unfortunately, there wasn't an alternative. I'm standing in line (checkout), with my one item, for what feels like 57hours. The customer who's ahead of me, checking out, has a a ton of groceries. Among his various items, is a honey dew melon. The cashier (african guy with a wicked thick kunta accent) asks the customer what is it. The customer (being that he's a male) says, "It's definately a melon. I think it's honeydew." The cashier looks puzzled. "Honey--- doo?", he asks. Me and another female customer assert the cashier that the strange round fruit that he's holding in his hand is, in fact, a honeydew melon. He still gives us a puzzled stare. I'm not sure what was going on in his head at this point.

...........

Maybe he thought that all three of us facebook'd eachother that morning and decided that we were going to meet up at Walmart to play a game. After meeting up in the Walmart parking lot we all decided that it would be superfunny to trick the first African that we saw inside the store. One of us decided to bring a funny-lookin', greenish round thing to the store. We were going to trick the African into guessing the name of this funny-lookin' thing. After a few beers before entering the store.. we managed to come up with a name for this funny-lookin' thing---Honeydoo. To make matters even funnier, we would lie and tell him that this Honeydoo is actually spelled, "Honeydew", just because of how funny the name looks in writing. To top it off, we all agreed that we'd call it a type of fruit. Unbeknownst to him, we're totally lying!

.......Who knows what he thought!!!!

So the cashier searched his special cashier catalog for the item # so that he could ring it up. Well, he searched and continued to search to no avail. Every few second he'd look up from the catalog and repeat, "Honey--du?". His question would be followed by an extremely frustrated, "Yes", from all three of us people waiting in line. He looks at me and asks me if I could find 'honeydew' on his cashier item list. It took me about 2 seconds to locate the frignig 'honeydew'. I pointed it out to him. It took him about an additional 5 minutes (maybe i'm embellishing a bit) to locate the word 'honeydew' AGAIN. I don't think he knew how to read... spell. Who knows?!    

My question is: With a 10% (i could be making numbers up) unemployment rate... why do people continue to hire THESE brainless fucktards over capable citizens who can actually 'catch a clue' (and who have experience eating honey dew melons)?

...pisses me the hell off. The republican came out of me for a second there.

Ugh

What's going on with my dreams? My "sexually explicit" dreams are PG-13. A guy showing up to my place in order to fix my plumbing.... really?!  Am I just THAT lame. I can't even dream about penises. Not that I can remember what they look like or anything. I'd like to have a dream in which I'm getting slapped in the face by a million dongs as a personal alarm clock. Then i get up out of bed and make myself a cup of tea and my spoon would be in the shape of a   ....you guessed it...    dong! Then once I'm ready to get into my car and drive to school I notice that my shift is a dong also.

Too short.

Life is so freakin short. To imagine that life isn't promised to me. I could be gone at the drop of a hat and there is never going to be a chance of coming back. My body will cease to function. The only thing that will survive the death of me will be my energy (Law of Conservation of Energy) and whatever possessions I would have left this world with. Life feels so surreal. It's as though we live to die. We dedicate our lives to money, careers, & possessions. We live a life full of restriction, doubt, "what ifs", regret, hurt, pain.. and for what? Just to die. It sounds unbelievable when I actually think about it more and more. It's as though our lives are wrapped around created the biggest memories that we are capable of creating before death. We're living memoirs striving to create the most impactful impression on who ever's path we may cross... just so that we wont be totally forgotten once death comes knocking. 
I've been thinking about this more and more. About how much of a scam life & societal rules are. I'm going to make an attempt at not holding too many grudges. I'm going to make an attempt at avoiding pain. I'm going to make an effort at improving the quality of this lifelong scam.

full circle.. or not

After my divorce, the ex and I became friends. We had an off and on relationship which was dependent upon how much  “you’re divorced so you shouldn’t be friends”type of bullshit was actually fed to him. We both had several conversations to discuss how much we cared and respected each other. We also agreed that we weren’t going to fall prey to childish divorce taboos. We got a lot sickenly well when we were in each other’s company, we did not want taboo to get into the way of remaining friends. I learned that the ex actually meant the complete opposite of everything that he had told me—which placed me into the vulnerable position every time he cut me off as a friend and within a few weeks later, he’d appear in front of my face again as if nothing ever happened.  

In between the course of this flippity floppity relationship, I even managed allowed him to think for me. One day, he expressed how maintaining a close relationship with my in-laws was ‘against the rules of divorce’ (specifically..visiting in-laws during certain times of the year--includes Holidays--was out of line). I fell for his bullshit. I stopped speaking to my in-laws and decided that “disappearing off the face of the earth” was a good thing to do in order to solidify my friendship with my ex.

Maybe he was right?After all, he had my best interests at heart. He’s such a good friend, he only wants what's best for me. 

Hmmm.

Wrong.

After several attempts at maintaining our ping-pong/give-take relationship, I finally had the balls to tell him how horrible of a person he is. After some negative exchanges, I decided that he didn’t deserve to be on my priority list. So, I put him on the “if he was on fire I wouldn’t save him with my own piss” list. Or better yet, “I’d love to watch him get mauled by a bear. I think I’d really like that” list (don't worry... i've recently stopped feeling extreme hatred towards this fellow).

The lost of him as a friend made me think about how wrong it was for me to cut-off his family. I loved my mother-in-law from day one. I love the family’s willingness to accept me as their own, even after barely spending much time in their company. Attempting to ‘write off’ people who unconditionally love you (and who you love also) is not humanly possible.To deny myself the right to an extended family—especially when my own family isn’t very close—is not a healthy thing to do. Especially if these people are willing to be a part of my life even after the ex decided to leave me. That says alot.

Surprisingly, my mother-in-law texted me this week. I didn’t know whether I should call her. I didn’t know if I should follow ‘the rules to being divorced’ (if there is such a thing).  I asked friends for advice on what I should do, which didn’t help much (sorry guys = } ). I was also worried about how she'd feel about me after not speaking to her for so long.

How would I explain myself? Would she expect me to explain myself?

In the end, I called. I haven’t spoken to her since May but we managed to pick up right where we left off…not explanations needed...   even after all this time apart.

Thunder thighs.

Woke up to some badass abdominal cramps thanks to running. I had to crawl my way to the bathroom and hang my head over the garbage can until the pain subsided. It was so bad I was close to vomiting. At first I thought it was a horrible dream until I realized I was actually awake. I thought I was dying. I wanted to write a death letter but I was hunched over in pain and I couldn't' get up to find a paper & pen. I wanted to cry but it would've hurt.

All this for 10lbs...  I never went through this last year when i lost my 10.  I need to begin running on a regular so I wont have to worry about this yoyo-weight shit. I'm too old for this.

I ran again today. If I can make it through this week then I know things will be okay. Now as for the motivation to keep me running on the regular....   I'm thinking about posting an ad at my complex, in search for a running mate. If worse comes to worse... I can continue to run with  my dog... although it's a bit annoying at times she makes me forget about how extremely boring running is.

I seriously need to slim down these thunders.

And yes... my back and abdominal pain is outrageous right now. But i know that i'll get used to all of this again....    I need a "vagina-meet-penis" massage.

himany timany

...So I volunteered to hand out our class' Professor Evaluation sheets (professors aren't allowed to) at the end of sociology class. I collect all forms from the students just in the nic of time b/c the next class was beginning to fill the room. I was erasing the board and one dude walks into the class and asks, "Are YOU our teacher?!" with his Christmas-present eyes. I didn't know what he was talking about at first until a few minutes later when it clicked. I'm meant to become an instructor. But not just any instructor....        the HOOCHIE instructor!    I should look into this. I know that Nursing professors get paid very well.

Dance

I'm super excited. I enrolled into an Irish Dance class. Begins Nov30. I will have to update video record myself and show you guys what I'm working with.

Party in my GI tract!

Ya know... I'm fully aware of the fact that I shouldn't be drinking out of this water bottle. It's funny smelling and it has water that has been sitting in it for the past couple days (in the hot car). I tried to dilute the water with fresh water to hide the smell but it didn't work. I was so thirsty that I just didn't care. I figured that not breathing out of my nose would do the trick. I wonder how bad my GI will pay for this. This is bad. Really bad.

No life.

School ruins lives. Try to avoid  it at all costs. I wouldn't recommend science majors. Secondary effects include abstinence since all of your free hours will be dedicated to filling your head with scientific nonsense and trying to figure out how many times you can use the word "uuhhh" while conversing with people b/c your brain is too fried for you to attempt to form coherent sentences. I would definately switch my major to business (or any other degree that's easily attainable) if it wasn't for my hate for offices, uncomfortable dress attire, powerpoint, & paperclips.

Watch me brush my hair!

They call me "Dev"

Penn and Teller- The Bible is Bullshit

Jeepers creepers (pt.2)

I visited an old basic training buddy in Abq a few months ago. She has a friend who's house we slept over for the night. I arrived in a brand new dress (conservative style i've never worn before, but I was really digging it) that I had worn for maybe 3 hours tops. I brought a nightbag and when I was ready to change into my jacuzzi-time bikini, I placed my dress inside my bag with everything else so that things wouldn't get lost. My friend and I threw all of our belongings in one specific corner of the masterbathroom to make sure we had everything one it was time to leave. Well, our party night passed. We woke up, left, and continued on with our lives. I drove back to Denver. So I get a text from the guy who's home we stayed at. He tells me that I left my dress at his place. The news sounded quite odd due to the fact that I never lose things... and I made sure I placed all my belongings inside my bag the night I was at his place. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I gave him my address and asked him to send the dress by to me. It was brand new. Abq is a 7.5hr drive from Denver. After two weeks, I couldn't understand why the package was taking so long to arrive. Several weeks had passed, but the numbskull told me that he had sent it. Well it's not August anymore. It's November. I'm still waiting.

I speculate that his monkey ass had sifted through my overnight bag, while i slept, and had taken the dress as a token of "our love". I have no idea if panties were stolen but I try not to think about it.  I should have known that something wasn't right with him. My friend and I ended the night in his jacuzzi. As she passed out for a long time, I noticed that his hands were underwater, he couldn't take his eyes off me, and he made some painfully uncomfortable looking expressions over a long duration. I was soo grossed out at the possibility that he was imagining me nude.. that I got out of the water in a heartbeat and woke my "almost drowning" friend up.

Jeepers  creepers. I'm still mad about my muthafuckin dress.

Edrick's bday song (may2010).. throwback. My next bday video will be AMAZING. i promise

semi-drunk off of budlight lime and various other alcoholic beverages we wont dare speak of.

I was..

..in Target today speaking to this woman. She pauses in the middle of a sentence and asks me, "I'm sorry. Does my breath stink?" I was thrown off for a minute, until I realized that I apparently make the stink face alot more than I realize.

To those of you who have been victims: I promise that there was an 80% chance that you did not deserve 'the face'. Therefore, I do apologize.  

Third time's the charm.

Coloring my hair black for the third time since late July. I'm not sure why my color keeps fading. Maybe the anti-fade shampoos/conditioners are not what they say they are. Maybe they actually do the opposite it's all a conspiracy so that consumers can buy more hair products. hmm. maybe... maybe not. All I know is that this hair color issues is irritating the hell out of me.

Nation founded on god?

U.S. Treaty with Tripoli. Drafted by George Washington in 1796 & signed by John Adams in 1797. Two agnostic thinkers of the time.

"As the Goverment of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Musselmen; and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mohemitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries."

My case against the religiously convicted

Believing in god is equivalent to children believing in the tooth fairy. Both of these characters begin their stardom within a simple, man-made tale of ‘how things came to be’. Although there is no way to prove the existence or nonexistence of the tooth fairy, there is also no concrete way to prove the case against god’s existence. So then why are adults quick to say that the tooth fairy does not exist… yet hold on to the common belief in god’s existence. Although there is no (100%) fact behind this claim, logic and reason gives us the ability to lack the belief in the existence of such an entity as the tooth fairy.

Why is the idea of god not approached with the same amount of skepticism/scrutiny as the toothfairy (ie. bigfoot, UFO's landing)? What causes religion to become so immune to a healthy amount of disbelief?

God, just as the tooth fairy, has no way of being proven or disproven for that matter. The only proof that god exists is enclosed within holy, hand-written scripture. However, science has shown us that there is no validity in these scriptures (By the way: You cannot use a comic book to prove superman’s existence).Science, reason, and logic demands more evidence & accurate sources when it comes to the scientific proof which is needed to develop certain theories. And although many of these scriptures hold some form of historical information within the manuscripts, if I were to create my own religious text during this moment in time, it would include: ipods, laptops, condoms, NYC, cars, how to prepare a great quesh, Tim McGraw, Diddy, warning to not fry fish with olive oil because it's not possible, & How not to shit your pants when watching the 10 greatest Horror flix of all time  etc. (all things current during THIS day and age). Although my book would be considered historically accurate to some degree, the content/stories would be as fictional as it gets.  So the argument that the bible (i.e.) is in fact true because it contains historical truth, is an unacceptable argument. Within the scientific realm, ideas are guilty until proven innocent. Yet, the lack of proof of god’s existence--besides unreliable manuscript-- continues to lead people into dedicating their entire lives to such blind-faith.

From the agnostic standpoint: If there is no specific way to find out if a super-being does not exist, what is wrong with my belief in a powerful, universal creator? And I have no problem with this idea. Both ideas are probable (however, not equally probable at the moment). The problem lies within the stereotypical indoctrination of children to the point that when they become adults and “free” their selves from religion, while still maintaining their belief in a higher being, they believe their personal god has the same attributes as the monotheistic gods.  How does a theistic person know for a fact that god is all-loving, omniscient, forgiving, damning, fair, and judgmental?

 I think it’s safe to say that god may or may not exist, but until this god gives humans a sign… science will continue to practice the concept of “guilty until proven innocent” in regards to the god theory. Fine! Believe in a super-being if you want. All I’m saying is that there is no logic behind dedicating your entire life to a man-made concept which perpetuates the qualities of a multifaceted mystical-being and the wastefulness of worship that is based on these same creative principles—blind faith.

I believe that religion is a “pacifier” for the human conscience. Asking questions without finding an answer can be extremely frustrating at times. However, just as the child who survives their childhood on the concept that babies are delivered by storks--one day, that child WILL grow up. One day, that child will discover the ugly, frightening, devastating truth as to how babies are actually created. So then why is it so difficult for adults to think outside of their box (childhood indoctrination)? Why, then, do we feel the need to hold on to these fictitious practices/dogma/belief systems? I think that a lack of a education plays a role in this, the inability of a person to think on a universal level (outside 'their box'), & ingrained fear.

And..

As for the people who believe that religion is the key to living a meaningful and moralistic life?--Think again. Majority of the most intellectual, affluent, progressive scientists/philosophers/theorists have been free-thinkers. If it was not for these atheists/agnostics, humans civilization would not have been able to advance as far as we have 'today'. We should 'thank' these secular humanists--NOT GOD--alot more often for their contributions to society. 

With that said, I will conclude this with a 'little' end note:

“Religious believers like to think that their god and ancient texts provide them with an inside track to defining what is 'good' and what is 'bad'. But it is surely far more morale to do 'good' things for their own sake, rather than as a way of sucking up to god. Our true sense of 'right' and 'wrong' has nothing to do with religion. I believe there is kindness, charity, generosity in human nature.” --Richard Dawkins

One nation, under tards.

Many Americans aren't able to comprehend the fact that the change which was promised to our nation isn't going to happen over night. As my friend had explained, Rome wasn't built in two years. If you look at the 8 years worth of "royally fucking up", common sense should cause a person to realize...   "Hey, Obama promises change. We'll just have to wait for it. I'm sure it'll be worth waiting for in the long run."  I guess common sense isn't really so common when you have thousands/millions of U.S. citizens asking the same idiotic question: "Where's the change that you promised us, Mr. President."  You can watch this video, in which Obama goes into detail about the present change that he has indeed made. He will also explain the pitfalls about the legislation system...  and how bills are held up in 'the system' for a good amount of time (complements of bureaucracy).

I remember being stationed in Europe and wondering why most Europeans felt that American's were the "Mississippi (lowest IQ in the States)" of the Western World. I felt enraged about their claims pertaining to Americans' intellectual ineptitude. Now that I'm back in the States, I'm bewildered by the truthfulness behind these stereotypical alligations. It's one thing to be against Obama's political beliefs. I'm not knocking anyone for that. The issue is that so many do not realize that 'all good things must wait'. This nation is indeed changing (not sure if it's for the good) as we speak.

I'm embarassed to say that I dedicated my time to defending a nation that is full of tards. I'd move to Norway if it wasn't for my love for Tim McGraw & all of the delicious, multicultural-fused food that you can only find on American soil.

jeepers creepers... why not the nice,normal looking guy?

This is a recollection of a Monday event.

So physiology class just ended. I have 3 study partners--one of them is some married, balding dude who's name we wont speak of. So end up walking out of class together. We get into an elevator and there's another dude inside of it. Some black, grimey ass lookin mofo. He begin staring at me while sucking his teeth...    licking his crusty lips...  while primatively grunting  and repeating the phrases, "Oh girl... uh HMm...   can you blame me?" I realized that I wasn't a piece of fried chicken (sounds great right about now) but I couldn't help but feel that way.

So the <1min long elevator ride felt as though it was a century long ride. I began to ask myself, "What the hell have I done to deserve this? Was it the silent mentally disabled (i have to be politically correct) jokes that I sometimes tell myself when I have nothing better to do? Maybe karma is, in fact, real and it's now biting me in the ass? Who knows.

Back to the story...  After being completely overwhelmed by grizzly's "smooth" advances, my partner and I walk out of the elevator towards the building's exit (a few steps ahead of the elevator troll). At this point, I'm in complete shock at how disgusting and dressed down I felt after getting out of the elevator. To calm my nerves, my partner brilliantly suggests, "We should just hold hands now. Ya know.. so that he'll think we're dating." I give him the stankest glare that I could muster up but he somehow translates my "you're a dumb fuck"stare   into   "Oh, please. Tell me more".
In addition, he suggests that "We should've just went at it in the elevator. All over eachother. So that he could think that we were dating."
The light bulb comes on finally...       
This married putz has a crush on me. Who the fuck would ever say some shit like that. And before you tell me that I'm over reating...  I am not. This dude was dead muthafucking serious. He kept asking to hold me hand and I kept feeling more and more offended. After giving him the crazy eyes a few more times, only words that would actually come out of my mouth was, "Uh.. no. I don't THINK so."

I didn't curse him out like I normally would have because he's my physio partner and we all (my 3 other partners) pretty much depend on eachother to get through this class. I don't want him to fuck me over. I have to maintain my alliances...    something I learned from watching the RealWorld years ago.

Why do the nastiest guys feel so confident about saying/doing creepy shit. Now if elevator troll & married lab guy were dimepieces (single dimepieces)... I wouldn't be on here complaining. Most likely, I'd be on my back somewhere. Which would be degrading. But in a good sort of way.

My Backyard (making use of the Nikon D5000)

This is the type of shit I have to deal with EVERY single day.

...eat your hearts out Desert Dwellers.

Like the smell of roses.

We all know that people of many ethnicities and races enjoy their fair share of buttsex. My question is: Why do so many "straight" black men partake in this activity? Does the sagging-pants fad/"stimulus package" have anything to do with it? Are the crusty boxers that black men love to show off (by wearing pants that are 3x bigger than norm without a belt ) creating this black cummunity butt-craze? And why are most men who obviously love the butt sex... shy away from being labeled as bi-sexual/gay? What about the rappers, for instance...   Why do they create pro-butt rap lyrics but when it's time for them to express their opinion about the homosexual community.. they go up in arms? How is heterosexual buttsex so different from homosexual buttsex?

 I've heard of females being "loosey goosies" and I actually considered that as an issue when pondering this situation. But..    is the roast beef THAT meaty that the men actually have to force theirselves into becoming "rose bud" fanatics?  Isn't there a way of dumping the loosey broad before things became serious and finding a "tighter fit".

Has anyone ever asked themselves these questions... or is it just me?

DogBusiness

The renters below me own two dogs that have been causing mad problems. After leaving them a "nice" letter instructing them on how to teach a dog how to not bark excessively while indoors & no action on their part...    I've had been forced to listen to these yappy pricks for the past two months now. And Yes... I understand that I live in an apartment complex. There are lots of noises that a renter will inevitably have to suffer through. For instance: showers running, children crying, children playing, parties, dogs barking/crying on occasion, neighbors throwing orgies, meth heads cooking up their next batch etc. However, there's always that fine line. When my sleep is interrupted at 730-0800am (on weekends, or after pulling an "all nighter" studying)... then there are going to be some problems. Listening to intermittent, doggy spazz attacks until 9-10pm is unacceptable. Especially when I'm a full-time prenursing major who does nothing but study all day & maintain a 4.0 b/c getting into nursing school is more competitive than applying for med school.

Dog's are not accessories people! If you're going to have one, you better be prepared to obedience train them. If I and numerous other renters (this is Denver so almost everyone owns a dog) are able to train their dogs not to excessively bark indoors, then I expect you to be able to do the same. Especially if an irritated neighbor placed instructions at your door on how to train a dog not to bark...   Free of charge by the way!

I hate complaining about issues to other people. I avoid complaining about issues/processes b/c it makes me feel bitchy... and I don't like being a bitch... I want to be liked. But I had to put my own nonsense, habits aside and do what I had to do. I got into bitch mode during my last call to the complex office (after numerous calls over the 2month period). They finally gave me the solution I was looking for. They will fine these people $100 every time their dogs go on an all-day barking spree. Apparently, bitchy pays off!

My lunch is not doing so well in my tummy..

Fck Chinese restaurants. These britches like putting MSG into every fcking thing! I'm not paying +10bucks (for lunch entree) just to have my face hoovering over a toilet bowl every time I eat a goddamn chinese dish. screw that! I feel like giving someone a knuckle sandwich.

AsianPersuasion

lolpix.com

Why are females crazy about Hello Kitty? I find it to be the most annoyingly, childish icon around. I find it crazy how grown ass people can be comfortable carrying around pink backpacks that are covered in Hello Kitty bullshit. How old are we... because you could've fooled me...   you look WELL past the age of 16.


So, I understand that Asians are the culprits of this madness. This is why I formulated an idea about why this Kitty disease has continued to become a huge Asian icon. Asians have obviously discovered a way for their people to stop developing past the age of 15. This explains why they continue to become obsessed with these bug-eyed cartoons.  These freak-ass-kitty creatures are DEFINATELY cute. 15 year olds LOVE cute things..it's a fact. This also would explain the reason why so many Asians physically appear (ex: glowing skin, boyishly-good figures... okay, maybe not so good...   & baby-sized body parts that we dare not speak of) to be younger than they make us believe. What a bunch of tricksters!


hmm..   I'm not sure why... but I'm some how comfortable with believing this "theory".  

Thou shalt eat the damn cookies.

I visited King Soopers on my trip back from school last night. I was supposed to purpose only veggies for the spaghetti I'm planning on making. Anyhow, like the heffer I am... I ended up walking through the aisles (sections of the grocery store that I typically stay away from). Lo' and behold! A stumbled upon a box of perfectly packaged cookies. There was a note attached to them written specifically for me! I knew that this was a sign from the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He placed his grace on me. I was destined to accept this magnificent gift. I mean... what the hell was I supposed to do? I didn't want the Spaghetti Monster to smite me by mailing me a jar of pigknuckles via FedEX. The only catch was that once I walked out of the store with the cookies in hand... I had to injest a row full of cookies within a 5minute period... or else the cookies would morph into a bag of Funonions and I would be punished with bad breathe for the rest of the day. Lets just say that the Flying Spaghetti Monster left a carton of soymilk in my car, like a gentleman...   the cookies and I "got it on" with the help of my blessed carton of milk. I stuffed my face like a binging-rexic... but it was all worth it in the end.

BigDummies

I just hope that people voted for the person and not for the party. There are many individuals who visit the polling stations & forget to do their research on what policies each individual candidate actually stands for. Voters assume that each candidate adapts the typical beliefs of a political party (ex. Republicans--prolife; Dems--prochoice). That is not always the case... as I've learned from this particular election day. I was fortunate enough to have my ballot mailed home to me (i knew that I wouldn't have the mental capacity to remember each and every candidate & policy). I was able to spend ALOT of time viewing news articles etc. about each candidate's position and to gain a sense of how serious the political role actually was for them. I just hope that Americans improve their thought processes and quit the retardeness, once and for all. I fear that voting has become a blindsighted, fad. Stop me if I'm wrong.   **Don't get it twisted... I'll be the first to tell you that I was one of those dummies during last election term.

OhKnOWheeDi-ent

I woke up this morning, to my baby—Sunshine—battling it out with my feet. I’m surprised that my feet aren’t cut-the-hell-up as they were a week ago (same culprit). Sunshine “scissor paws”. Well, this is a glimpse of the type of madness that I have to deal with throughout the day… and especially upon awakening. And YES… that is my dog “hissing”. (My kitty doesn’t hiss because he’s a gentleman)

p.s. Mornings suck. Especially when you only give yourself 1.5hrs to study for a sociology exam.

Numero uno

I've been living in Denver for almost a year now (Dec 09). I think that 'life' is finally on vacation now. Since my divorce (1yr), I have been going through a surreal, disoriented state of thought until recently. (During the past year) As life seemed to ease up a bit... all of a sudden it would punk-bitch slap me into the 18th century. And I know that wherever I was, the people who lived there sure didn't like black people. How else should I explain the numerous occasions of being dumped on? Not getting into specifics about my ordeals during my time in Denver (I'll save those stories for later). Anyhow.. 
This gets me thinking:
Why are people so callous towards to people whom they're supposed to love?
Why should liars be given the right to sleep at night? 
Why in the world do Denverites wear knitted, wool hats in 80+ deg weather?
And..
What does a penis look like again?  


ugh.. it's 1am. Night cap time. Lots of cramming to do in a few hours. Gnight.

I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

May He caress you with His noodly appendages.

RAmen.